My Facebook divorce announcement

Here we are.

We’ve known each other for over 16 years. We have three healthy, smart, beautiful daughters that constantly make us laugh. We have a supportive community of friends and family. We have a deep love and respect for each other.

And we are no longer married.

When I mentioned to a few people that I wanted to post this, the reaction seemed to be “it’s nobody’s business” “who cares what they think” “you don’t have to say anything.”

But then I thought—we posted when our beloved dogs died. We posted about the first day of kindergarten. We posted about the wins and losses on the football field and the girls cheering from the sidelines no matter what the score. We posted about the purchase of a new house and the nail polish that was spilled up and down the freshly carpeted stairs and my pregnant belly and the first soccer goal and the loss of my mother.

We posted all kinds of things about our life and this is just one more thing about our beautiful life.

I understand the sentiment of not sharing the news. I think that the underlying feeling is shame. But we don’t feel that way. Of course, there’s deep hurts and resentments and sadness. But there’s no shame about the ending of our marriage. Time was not wasted—we grew together and learned from each other and our relationship is not over, just different. We will forever be bound by our three beautiful girls, we will forever love one another, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.

So you’ll still see our modern family together in the future, at football games, holidays, school performances. You’ll also see some other amazing people in each of our lives. We both have supportive and devoted and understanding significant others—two amazing women our kids love. My thought has always been that it takes a village – that’s how I grew up – and that more love is simply more love. And that’s a good thing.

To those that have stuck by us and supported us both individually and as a family we are so grateful and we love you. To those that we hurt or are still saddened by this we are so grateful for the lessons you’ve taught us and we love you.

And finally to our daughters, three of the most incredible humans we are blessed to know. Your strength and humor and resilience and love and openness are qualities that as your parents we’d hoped you’d acquire as you grew, and while we never wished heartache on you, we are so proud to walk with you through all the pain and joy that life will bring.